It’s crazy to think back to last Mother’s Day. Life was so very different! Jake and I were of course pregnant and awaiting our little dude’s arrival in 2-3 weeks. We were filled with such excitement. We had such an intense bond to him. Always feeling him kick. Dreaming of what and who he’d be. Of how we’d be as parents. About what life would look like with a little babe. Baseball games. Toy trucks. Little chunky legs running around. There were so many things to think about! Then there were the other parts that parents don’t talk about as much. The parts where you wonder if you’ll be an okay mom. If your baby will love you. If you have what it takes to raise a child and teach him about the world. And help him learn. It’s a pretty scary task, if you really think about it!

Last year at this time, I can remember exactly what we were doing. I had woken up, thinking that I wanted to call my momma and make sure she knows how much I love her. It was the first year we didn’t go home for Mother’s Day. And then it happened. Jake came out of the babe’s future bedroom with Mother’s Day presents. I never once thought that I’d be celebrating last year. After all, I wasn’t a momma yet. I burst into tears of course looking at a homemade card that Jake made and had all my family sign it with how they thought I’d be a good momma. Literally balling.

It was then that I realized that you’re a momma well before your baby is born. The instant I found out we were pregnant, I became a momma. But this year, celebrating is much different. This year, I have this stinkin’ adorable little dude running around the house. Chunky, adorable thighs running around. Squeals echoing through the house. He turned 11 months old today (cue the tears). You see, this Mother’s Day, what being a mom means has hit me more than ever.

{ photo by my sweet friend, Britta }

Being a mom isn’t just a title. Or a responsibility. Or a “chore” as some may call it. Or something that you just “have to do” because it’s the societal norm to have children. Being a mom is one of the greatest joys in life that God could ever bless upon a person. Being a mom means you forever have a little person that’s made of what you’re made of. That’s heart comes from your heart. That has your eyes. And your dimples. And your lips. Being a mom means having a permanent best friend that looks up to you. He reaches for you when he’s sad. He runs to you when he’s happy. He utters your name at the perfect moments. Being a mom means having this perfectly little innocent baby with a heart so full of love. That looks at you when you’re sad and makes you not so sad. He kisses you in that baby open mouth kinda way. He screams and throws his arms in the air in excitement after you’ve come home. Being a mom means getting to watch him learn. Like everything. Every second he’s awake, he’s learning. Watching him discover the world. Seeing him see new things. Trying to figure out what something is. In utter amazement as you see him learn all by himself how to problem solve.

Being a mom makes everything else that’s wrong in this world feel a little better. That you are helping to raise a young man. A beautiful, handsome, well-mannered young man.

As I sit here typing this at my mom’s house on Mother’s Day, my little dude is crawling around the living room discovering her house. Making the silliest of noises. Clapping at himself for the simplest tasks. Literally making me break out into laughter every sentence. When I look at him, I realize that it was silly to ever doubt myself in the beginning. If I’d be able to do it. To be a mom. To give him the love he needs. And wondering if he’d love me back. It’s just silly that those thoughts ever crossed my mind. Because babes, when you have love…strong, unconditional love for your babe… well that’s all it takes. Love guides me in how to raise him. He feels my love. Knows my love. And gives me that same sweet love right back. As long as you love your child with all your heart, you can never do wrong as a mother <3

So look to your momma’s today and know that they’ve given so much for you. They’ve given you all their heart. That they love you. Because babes, a mother’s love is legit. Something I never understood before. It gives unconditional a whole new meaning. It’s something that can’t be put into words. But oh my gosh, it’s so intense. And strong. And powerful. And moving. I cry once a day, at least, when I look at my babe and tell him how much I love him. And how happy I am that he’s mine. And that out of all the babies we could have had, I’m so glad it’s him.

To my momma Carol, my sister Christina, my momma-in-law Kim, my second momma Cheryl… I love you all!! Thank you for your unconditional love <3