Whew, I’ve made it almost all day without crying. That says a lot seeing the last couples days at work I’ve found myself breaking into tears just thinking about him. After a love one passes, all of those days that used to be so happy turn into sadness, laughter into tears, and joy into sorrow. I try so hard to do what I tell others – use every day to celebrate their life and feel them surrounding you with love. But instead, I sit in my chair, listening to Creedence Clearwater Revival (CCR for you youngins) and cry tears for him.

I think of what we’d be doing today for his birthday. This past weekend I most certainly would have gone home to see him. Probably taken him golfing (we used to golf together when I was little). We would have drove the cart like crazy, shot an awful game (well me at least – he was actually really good), laughed about how bad I am and about how all those lessons didn’t stick. Probably flag down the beer cart girl numerous times. I’d bring him out to dinner where we’d tell stories of when we were younger and listen to his stories of him as a young lad – those were my favorite. Afterwards, I’d surprise him at home with balloons filling the room, a huge cake with 73 candles, and all of his loved one surrounding him singing happy birthday. It’s not over-the-top, just a classic birthday. We’d spend the rest of the night laughing.

I’d give him the sweetest card I could find and would write my own sweet note inside telling him about how much I love him. And how he’s the best dad and best friend I could ever want. And that he was always my role model and I looked up to him so much growing up. That I’m so thankful that he’s always been by my side. That I could never imagine my life without him there.

Yea, that’s what I would tell him. But instead, I sit here listening to CCR’s Proud Mary as tears stream down my face wondering if he’s watching me sit here and shaking his head saying “Tiger, don’t cry. I’m right here with you.”

Every day I sit and wonder what life would be life if you were still here. I would give anything to have you back. To feel your embrace. To hear you contagious laugh. To see the tears stream down your face when you laugh – because let’s be serious, Christina and I got our overactive water glands from you! You changed the world while you were here. You changed lives. The impact you had on people goes beyond words. As I sit and look at the messages I’ve received over the years, the ones I read on Facebook today from all your family, it’s not a surprise that people’s hearts still hurt.

You are a special breed made my God. A breed so rare that many of us aren’t fortunate enough to meet one. But me? I was a lucky one that got to call you my dad. To have you raise me, teaching me what’s right and wrong. To laugh with.

Today, on your 73rd birthday, what I wish for you is happiness. Is a calmness. Is more love than you can ever fathom. Is a million hugs and kisses being sent to the sky. Is a promise that you have been and always will be my #1 man and that I’ll always be your little girl, your Tiger. I love you more than words can begin to form, more than a single soul can comprehend.

Happy birthday, daddy <3